In His Presence

I don't really have anything profound to say or any revelation to share. I just want praise God for giving me confidence! Putting my trust in Him has been amazing! And I am talking specifically this summer. This has been such an interesting summer for me. I dropped out of Auburn, I was unemployed, I moved, I cut myself off from my family (for financial reasons), my transmission in my car was dead for over a month, and I can't remember what else. I have never had a summer like this. It sounds like it was sooo empty, but in reality during this time, I began to learn more about God's heart concerning His bride. All those things I mentioned before didn't matter to me. I was confident that the Lord would provide, besides His kingdom is at hand. I am glad I got to know His heart for His bride. I have had some amazing prayer time by myself and with others. God loves His church soooo much! His love for us is so beautiful!!

Needless to say, the Lord did provide. I got into Liberty where I am now getting my degree in pastoral counseling. I have a job interview next Monday. I have moved in with wonderful and most delightful young women. The Lord has provided for me financially. My dad decided to fix my car. Let's never forget the good works the Lord has done for us. Let's be confident in Him. Let's praise Him and thank Him for His goodness for His love endures forever!!

This is all I have to say for now. Seek Him!

Sooo....this morning I was just reflecting on how the Lord used me in Savannah and how I was encouraged by the Lord by other people in Savannah. If you haven't heard my Savannah story, give me a call, I would love to tell you about it. As I was reflecting, I was in the book of Daniel. This is the book I am in right now and I am totally excited! The Lord has been speaking to me in dreams and visions and reading this book has been sooo encouraging to me in my life where I am right now. Wow!! I would need more than a blog to discuss what is going on in my life right now. Some of the things I cannot even utter because they are just now forming in my heart. Well, anyway, back to Daniel.

So, today I read the first 7 chapters of Daniel (I really just couldn't put the book down). As I was reading, I began to see a pattern in Daniel's life...faith and obedience. I know it seems like everywhere we go we need it has been said that we need to have more faith and we need to walk in obedience...we all know this...in fact I am probably one of the ones that has been preaching this...but since this whole Savannah thing and reading about Daniel...it is more clear what walking in obedience and having faith in the Lord my God really means. It's huge!!

Faith and obedience allows other people to see the sovereignty of the Lord.

When Daniel obediently followed the Lord and continued to pray 3 times a day even though he knew he would be thrown into the lion's den, he had faith that the Lord, his God would save him. With Daniel's obedience and faith, the Lord shut the mouth of the lions and there was not a scratch to be found on Daniel the next morning. Because of Daniel's faith and obedience, the king that ordered Daniel to be thrown into the lion's den saw that the Lord is the Almighty-mighty to save. Our actions--meaning being doers of the Word effects those around us. When we obey in faithfulness, others will be drawn to the Light that is in us.

Just like when I obediently went to Savannah, a seventeen year old high school kid was able to be drawn to me. I had been a light because of my faith and my obedience. People are drawn to that light inside of us. By grace we can have faith. By grace we can be obedient. By grace we are given the light. By grace we are given the love we need to share with others. If we love Him, we shall accept His grace so we can have faith, so we can be obedient, so we can be the light, so we can love others. If we would just humble ourselves we can receive all these things. If we would just humble ourselves, we can give all these things. What is true humility? I do not know what it is for you, but for me it is striving to be complete in Him. When there is any fault in me, there is still pride. What is a struggle in your life? lust? lying? cheating? stealing? gossip? Yes, we do these things...I will be the first to admit I still do all of them, but I acknowledge those things and some of those things I am okay to let go because they are not as big as a struggle for me, but others, I can feel the Lord pressing me to give up. It hurts to give them up because it means I am a prideful person. My pride is being hurt to say I need to give up these things. To give these things up means I want to live in TRUTH...no matter the circumstance or situation. There are people I can almost be without blemish around, but it still means I am blemished. There are people in my life I cannot tell the full truth to. That means I am still lying and stealing. Yes, stealing. I am stealing their trust. I am probably cheating them too. Do you see how ugly sin is?? Do you see how much it breaks the Lord's heart?? It breaks His heart just as much to see me lie to my mother as it is to see David to commit murder or adultery. All sin leads to death...just some more quickly to others. If there is a struggle in your life, don't ignore it. Also, if it is a struggle in your life, it is probably a struggle in your brothers', sisters', or neighbors' life, so keep that in mind too. I am not saying to keep your struggles secret...I am saying let go of them. Give them to God. Allow Him to help you work through them. He is faithful to do it. It is His will to help you get rid of your struggles...your sin. You can count that this is His will.

Please be encouraged by this. Thanks!

Just some thoughts the Lord gave me on being a LOVER.

"God, you are a lover looking for a lover, so you fashioned me..."

I love you Lord with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. I am willing to be your lover. Continue to fashion me dear God. You are a lover looking for a lover, so you fashioned me. Oh Lord, I am a lover looking for a lover. Who have you fashioned for me to love?

Where is all of this coming from? How has my heart changed? I do not understand myself at all. All the things I thought I knew about myself, I am unlearning. What is it that I really want God? It is your heart. I am just amazed how my view has changed. I suppose in reality, I just want a lover in return. That makes sense to me.

I feel that I am going crazy because a lot of things I thought I desired are now changing. But is so good because I am learning God's heart for me. He is showing me to be a lover. I am so different that I once thought, but I have still more to learn and for the first time I am open to that.

It is all about allowing my heart to do the thinking, not my mind. My mind serves great purposes, but my heart is where the Lord instructs me.

I do not want anything I created.

I am not my mother's daughter and I am not my daddy's daughter. I am my Father's daughter. I want to learn all things through Him and no one else.

Now I can say, "my LOVE is looking for a lover, so He fashioned me."

What is it about me that I need to know, God? Pour your heart into mine God.

In my devotional today, I was reflecting on last weekend when I hurt my ankle at Chewacla. I knew right away the Lord wanted brokenness in more ways than one. Not only did He want to heal my ankle, but He most of all wanted to heal my heart. That day I had let pride walk in. I had stupid frustrations toward other people. I was mean that day. I suppose these things had occurred days before, but the Holy Spirit spotlighted where darkness was in my heart. So, I fall, my ankle is hurt and before I can say, "ouch", the Holy Spirit moves in me. I confess my sins and praise the Lord for His mercy and His grace. Then the healing took place in my heart and then the pain in my ankle starting easing up as the swelling went down. I now truly believe that true healing is the forgiveness of sins. You must humble yourself. You might be able to believe that God can heal, but you must be able to deny yourself first. That is when true healing takes place. The truth does really set you free. I am a living testimony of that. That is why I believe Psalm 103 put the forgiveness of sins first and then the healing of disease second. You cannot have the second without the first.

Bless the LORD, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits--
who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thy diseases,
who redeemeth thy life from destruction, who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
who satisfieth thy mouth with good things, so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Then Jesus told the paralytic his sins are forgiven in Matthew 9 and then told him that he was healed:

And He entered into a boat, and passed over and came into His own city.
And behold, they brought to Him a man sick with the palsy, lying on a bed. And Jesus, seeing their faith, said unto the one sick with the palsy, "Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee."
And behold, certain of the scribes said within themselves, "This man blasphemeth."
And Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, "Why think ye evil in your hearts?
For which is easier: to say, `Thy sins be forgiven thee,' or to say, `Arise and walk'?
But that ye may know that the Son of Man hath power on earth to forgive sins,"-- (then said He to the one sick with palsy) "Arise, take up thy bed and go unto thine house."
And he arose and departed to his house.
But when the multitudes saw it, they marveled and glorified God, who had given such power unto men.

Thank you Lord for your healing!

Walking in obedience is loving Jesus. Walking in obedience is living by faith. Walking in obedience is trusting that God is God. When you walk in obedience, that is when the Lord moves. Psalm 37:3-5 says:

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of
your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.

I have been doing this and the Lord does act. It might feel funny or seem strange, but a good friend of mine named Jen said, "It is not always about feelings." I will never forget that statement. It is not about feeling good. It is being a doer of the Word. That is what the Word is there for. It is an instrument to go by. Just obey. When you do, like I said, you are loving Jesus, living by faith, trusting God, and watching Him move.

I am so glad Jesus sent us a helper--the Holy Spirit. What would life be like without the Holy Spirit? I don't think I would know Jesus. I'm just thinking about the relationship of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. They all need each other. They work with each other. They all point to each other. I cannot know Jesus without the Holy Spirit and I cannot know the Father without Jesus. Anyway, what brought this up was that I was reading ahead for bible study on Tuesday in John 14. The unity between the 3 is so eternal. I can hardly think of words to express how I am excited about all of this and how exactly to explain what I am receiving. I am just in amazement of how our Lord works. All I can do is just look up. The Holy Spirit is with me and He points up to Jesus and then Jesus points up to the Father. God really does love us. He really does want us. He really does want to help us. He really wants His will to be done. He really wants us to trust and obey Him. I cannot get over this. I am just in amazment over Him. He really does want His kingdom to come. Jesus! You are so good! Without Him we are nothing. Without Him we cannot do anything. Without Him there is no purpose. Living ways of this world brings chaos, but living in Him brings reality. Reality is here. We just need to grasp it and let go of all the other pressures even if the pressures are from Christians we really love and hold dear to our hearts. He is the one who puts things into perspective--not mom, not dad, not best friend. He does. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. There is no way without Him.

I know I went everywhere with this, but this was the best way to put what was in my heart to writing. Love you guys!!!

Discipline hurts. But it is good.